His Grace is Sufficient

Have you ever felt like you've come to the end of yourself?  That you've tried and you've given everything, and still it didn't quite measure up?  Maybe you've tried to keep lots of plates spinning, and yet it feels like no matter how much effort you put in, something seems to fall.  Maybe you feel like others expect you to excel in a particular area of your life, but try as you might, you can't live up to those expectations.

As our family has started to walk down this journey of selling houses, selling or giving away most of what we have, raising financial support for the mission work God has called us to, traveling, speaking, coordinating little and big things (like health insurance or applying for visas), taking care of work details, and trying to maintain some semblance of normality in our home (with homeschooling in the mix), we've certain experienced times like that.  Sometimes I think, "How in the world is all of this going to get done?"

But this has also been a time when the Lord has been teaching us some amazing and important lessons. Lessons that you would think we would know by now, but we so often need repeated.

It's not about my performance.  This is by far one of the hardest lessons for me to learn.  Growing up with perfectionist tendencies, the "performance mentality" has been something that the Lord has slowly but steadily been working on in my heart.  If I'm honest, sometimes I think that this all depends on me, and if I don't come through, the world will come to an end.  But that's really my pride talking.  I want to draw my significance from what I do, from those who depend on me, from what I can offer this world.  But Christ says I'm significant for who he has made me to be.  I'm his child.  Peter says, "…whoever serves, [serve] as one who serves by the strength that God supplies - in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ.  To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever.  Amen!" (1 Peter 4:11)

His grace is sufficient.  Not only is it not about my performance, but Paul seems to imply in 2 Cor. 12 that the Lord is actually glorified in my weaknesses.  But it's not my natural inclination to "boast in my weaknesses."  I actually prefer to cover them up and try to show that I have it all together.  But that is not the way God's kingdom works.  In 1 Cor. 1, Paul says that God chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise, and the weak things of this world to shame the strong.  When others see the cracks in my veneer of "having it all together," that gives them the opportunity to see a person in deep need of the Lord's grace, forgiveness, mercy, and long-suffering, and they are drawn to find the same in Him.

It's not about others' expectations.  Sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves is perceived pressure from others.  We do things because we feel we "should" or we think someone will be upset with us if we don't.  But as our plates get full and our schedules spin out of control, those perceived pressures can easily turn into bitterness.  I can sometimes develop my own internal monologue, thinking about why I'm upset about doing a particular thing, feeling that my time is being infringed upon.  But those feelings are always the red flag for me that my motivations aren't right.  Paul says, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." (Col. 3:23-24)

Appreciate the time.  It's easy to live in a constant state of, "I can't wait until _______ happens."  But as we live there, we miss out on the wonderful moments and people that God has given us right here, right now.  We've tried to take purposeful time in the midst of the chaos to enjoy time with our boys and invest in the relationships around us, even when our schedules, email, and to do lists are crying out to be heard.

We're not in this alone.  When it becomes about my performance, I tend to be less open to the help of others.  But God purposefully designed us to be interdependent, not independent.  We are part of a large body, and were made to help share one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2).  It's the three-fold chord, not the single strand, that is not easily broken.  We are so thankful for those who have come alongside us through this process and have given us all kinds of help, from shelter as we're traveling to monthly financial support to a word of encouragement.  You are all "partners in the gospel with us" (Phil. 1:5).  Thank you for so often being God's hands and feet to us.

We continue to appreciate your prayers, financial support, and encouragement as we continue to walk down this road.  Only two more months or so, and we're off to Kenya (Lord willing)!  To give to our ministry or for more information, click here.